Learning how to balance your life and finances with a partner can be incredibly challenging at times. You don’t want to be the one who feels like you’re getting the short end of the stick, but you also don’t want to come across as too demanding. Everyone’s situation is different, so there’s not really an instruction manual on how to divide up chores, tasks, finances, and more.
One man went to Reddit to air his grievances about how he felt his girlfriend was not paying her fair share of their shared finances, such as rent and utilities. The original poster (OP) explained how they had been dating for about a year and were planning on moving in together into a townhouse or a unit that would have two bedrooms and one bathroom.
As of now, OP’s girlfriend makes more money than him. Since she works from home, she also wants to use one of the bedrooms as her very own office.
To make everything fair, OP’s girlfriend suggested that they split their finances so they would each pay half of the rent and half of the utilities. However, once OP realized that his girlfriend would be using more of the apartment, he thought it was only fair that she pay more.
The two of them continued to argue over how their expenses should be split, resulting in OP calling his partner some crass names. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was in the wrong, though, so he turned to Redditors for their feedback.
Starting off his Reddit post, OP explained that he is a second-year pathology resident, and his residency is five years long. He said that his girlfriend works from home and makes more than him. “She also makes 120k and I only make 68k,” he explained. “So our rent is $1,800/month + utilities and she wants to go half on both rent and utilities so we would both pay roughly $1,000 a month.”
While many couples would see this as a viable option, there were other factors that made OP think this was the wrong idea. Since his girlfriend planned on using one of the rooms as her office, he felt like she should pay $1,300 while he would pay $700. However, OP’s girlfriend argued that their rent would be cheaper if they didn’t live near his place of work since it’s a “very expensive” area.
“I find she’s being selfish because she makes much more than (me), and once I complete my residency I can easily make $350k a year or more,” OP said. His girlfriend didn’t see his argument, though, as she didn’t find it “fair” that she would have to wait several years to “potentially get paid back” and essentially would have “subsidized” OP.
OP continued:
“To me if she isn’t willing to pay a bit more to put some skin in the game she’s being a gold digger and waiting for me to make bank without giving anything in the first place. We argued about this a few times and I just want to know if I’m crazy in my thinking or she’s being selfish.”
Unfortunately for OP, most Reddit users were not on his side. Many of them pointed out how flawed his thinking was in calling his girlfriend a gold digger when he was the one asking for her to put in more money.
One user said, “She’s absolutely right that it’s unfair to wait three years to ‘potentially get paid back,’ because you’re not guaranteed that salary. Also, calling her a gold-digger while also wanting her to pay more. She’s asking you to pay half, while she pays half. The only one asking someone to pay more than half is you. Who’s the gold-digger?”
Other users agreed. One person said, “You’re not married. You should be splitting rent 50/50. Also, in this situation, you’re the gold digger.” Another added, “She makes nearly twice what you make now but she’s a gold digger?”
A different user pointed out how in most other situations, they believed that rent should be based on income, but all of the outside factors changed this circumstance. The user said:
“Normally I would say you should split rent in proportion to your income, but it sounds as though you have picked a more expensive area based on what is convenient for you. If you lived in a less expensive area it sounds as though your gf would be more willing to negotiate on paying more. If it’s important (for) you to save the money, then you need to compromise on area. If you must live in that specific area, then you need to pay half. It seems fair to me.”
Do you think this couple should split their expenses evenly? What would you do if you were in this situation? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends.
